


But I Do

by SmileForYongGuk



Series: Different Worlds, Always You [7]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: I'm terrible at updating sorry, M/M, Nskdosn enjoy????, also I'm going to be mentioning jjong so uh...., lmao lets hope I actually update this, that's a heads up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:13:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileForYongGuk/pseuds/SmileForYongGuk
Summary: "i really wish I didn't care about you anymore, but I do."





	But I Do

Droplets tumble down the drain as Yifan wipes his jaw, catching any leftover shaving cream he hasn't washed off. Placing the razor back in its holder, he leaves his bathroom and heads to his bedroom. Different colored dress shirts adorn his floor as he picks up a burgundy one. He slips his right arm in and then his left, carefully buttoning up the shirt as he faces his full length mirror. He plucks the tie hanging from a hook, sliding it under his collar and tying it into a pristine knot.

Yifan and his pals are getting all suit up. As he does so, lots of memories come to his mind. Various locations with the same radiant smile and soothing laugh. Splashes of tears and empty spaces. Soft touches and equally soft words. Once it's almost time, everyone rushes to the car and Yifan's hands begin to sweat. His legs start to tingle as he takes a deep breath, his friends just give him a warm smile. They arrive at the location and there are so many different species of flowers decorating the tables. All of the best mans are on the side laughing together even though some have tears in their eyes. Everyone rushes in as a bell rings and Yifan does the same. His hands are full on shaking as he makes his way to the front and takes another deep breath. The crowd begins to cheer as a man walks down the aisle, looking as if he can conquer the world today(he already conquered Yifan’s). He can smell the lavender detergent from the man’s suit, somehow calming his senses but magnifying them. It’s insane how he became so lost and dependent on Junmyeon, but that’s love, he supposes. How could it not be? All the times he rushed to get to Junmyeon when he was in trouble, even the times he was not.

Junmyeon passes him, taking his place at the makeshift altar where he stands with his soon to be husband. Yifan watches as they exchange smiles and feels his heart thudding uncontrollably. He looks up, hoping his eyes aren’t glistening with longing and heartbreak. His throat gets dry and closes up, ridding him of oxygen and hopefully taking the remainder of his love(for him).

 The reception finishes rather quickly, much to his surprise and rescue. The grooms ran past him, flower petals falling from the sky and laughter embracing them. He smiles as he feels Chanyeol’s hand on his shoulder.

 “Come on, Junmyeon stocked up on a lot of liquor for tonight and I’m sure I saw your favorite tequila and vodka in the cooler.” Chanyeol grins.

 “You’ve convinced me, let’s go.” Yifan chuckles.

  
  


 He wishes he could leave the party, with his favorite bottle of tequila and vodka in hand, obviously. It’s a little painful to watch his love look so happy with someone who isn’t him. _ Maybe I should smash the bottle on my head instead _ , he thinks. Everyone else looks so happy, so why can’t he feel the same? It doesn’t help that he had to sit with a table full of strangers and a girl who has been trying to get in his pants for the past hour.

 “Man, I can’t believe he finally confessed to Junmyeon, he was crushing on him since high school!” One of them says, Taemin, if he remembers the name correctly.

 “I know, right? I thought he didn’t have a chance considering he was attached to the hip with Yi-something. You know the tall dude? I heard he was tall. Never seen him though.” Jongup shrugs. 

 “Obviously not or else you would’ve recognized he’s sitting with us.” Kibum scoffs as Jongup looks at Yifan, instantly going white.

 “S-sorry.” Jongup laughs nervously.

 “You’re good.” Yifan smiles a little and downs a shot. Everything becomes a blur after that, mostly because he’s too busy trying not to drown himself in alcohol and the cake cutting sent him to the bathroom. He admits Taekwoon did an amazing job with the decoration and making of the cake, but when Junmyeon was fed by his partn─ _ husband _ , he had to escape. Jonghyun’s band started to play and his voice was incredibly smooth, dancing nicely against the soft jazz his group played. Jonghyun plucked a pink rose from one of the vases near him, smiled and handed it down to Kibum, who stopped dancing and blushed furiously. It was a cute sight, considering Yifan has known of his friend's love for the sassy fox named Kibum.

 There's not much left to the party, other than the sweet words the newlyweds will tell each other and a special video Junmyeon has been rambling about. He thinks its a good time to leave, not sure if he can handle anymore and the fact he's got to be up early tomorrow. Yifan stumbles out of the banquet, receiving soft pats from his friends and sad smiles. Yifan waves at Junmyeon's cousins who are laughing on the entrance steps, mumbling a goodbye. He forces a smile, placing his hands in his pockets and walks towards the entrance.   
 "Yifan!" Goosebumps line his arms as he hears that voice again and he forces himself to continue on. "You Giant Dumby! Hold up!" He feels a hand on his sleeve and it almost burns at how warm it is.   
 "Yes?"   
 "You're going already? There's still one more thi─"   
 "─rank too much and I have a flight to catch tomorrow."   
 "F-Flight? Where are you going?" Junmyeon's eyes twinkle, something that always left Yifan so awestruck. They'd only ever shimmer when he'd look so unbearably happy or when he'd feel saddened, or when he'd be determined to accomplish a task. Now that he thinks about it, it's probably how his eyes naturally are.   
 "Yeah, it's early in the morning."   
 "Where are you going? Does anyone else know?" Junmyeon blinks, furrowing his eyebrows as if there is something wrong with that.  _ There is.  _   
 "Why should I tell anyone? I'm just going on vacation." Yifan's tongue burns.   
 "Can't you stay for a little bit?"   
 "Sorry, Myeoni─ Junmyeon. I haven't packed yet." The burning sensation grows as he remembers the boxes that already left his apartment. The empty walls and the echo he hears whenever he merely breathes. Junmyeon's eyes glaze a little as he holds on to Yifan's sleeve. He bites his lower lip as he looks down.   
 "Not even─"   
 "Junmyeon," He looks up to see Yifan's soft eyes, "today is your big day. What are you doing out here? You should be inside having a good time. You can't leave Minho alone by himself, what if he thinks you called it quits?" Yifan feels tears prick and he wants to laugh so badly.  _ Cut it out, you psycho. _ "Look─" Yifan hears a familiar tune flow out of the house and his sanity runs thin. "Sorry, but I need to go. Have fun and take lots of pictures for your scrapbook later." Yifan smiles, holding back any sadness that wants to show. He removes Junmyeon's hand from his sleeve and slowly places a hand on his head.   
 "Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" Junmyeon mumbles. _ I am. _   
 "I'm giving you words of advice. This isn't considered as a goodbye." He chuckles and it hurts his heart how ruthless he sounds. "Go on, you have to go back inside." He pats his head and turns Junmyeon around as he feels his eyes already start to give. "Don't drink too much, I don't need Chanyeol sending me videos of you going haywire and wiping your jacket around in the air." He laughs and turns around himself, stuffing his hands in his pockets again and continues his walk. “Bye, Junmyeon. Have a goodnight.” Yifan lets a tear fall as he turns the corner, lungs aching and his heart burning.  _ Goodbye, Junmyeon. _

  
  
  


 A puff of smoke escapes Yifan’s lips as he sits on his balcony, admiring the snow that had fallen earlier this morning. He brings his coffee up to his lips and takes a sip, releasing another puff of smoke. It's nice, he thinks, Sweden is so much… better than the loud noises and bright lights of LA. Although the cold is too much at times, its quiet. Peaceful even, just what he needed. He occasionally calls his mom, who talks about all the ‘drama’ going on. How his step brother Yixing has proposed to Baekhyun and they'll be getting married in a few months  _ you'll come home for that, right _ . He smiled to himself bitterly, muttering to try but he has to manage his bakery. His mother has tried to talk about Junmyeon, much to Yifan's heartbreak, but she can't help it. After all, Junmyeon has adopted an adorable baby girl.  _ He's probably going to name her Irene _ , Yifan thinks as he remembers how Junmyeon came across the name after reading a book. His phone rings and Yifan picks it up.

 “You bastard!” Yifan blinks, bringing the phone down to see the number on the screen. He brings the phone back up to his ear.

 “Chanyeol? How did you─”

 “How could you drop off the face of the Earth and not tell  **_me_ ** anything?! I thought we were best friends,  _ fucker _ !” Yifan chuckles as he hears the familiar waving of Chanyeol's voice.

 “Don't cry.”

 “Of course I'm going to cry, you ugly piece of─”

 “Okay, okay. Sorry.”

 “It's been three years, Yifan. Where the fuck did you go?” Chanyeol sobs. “So much has happened and you just, left.”

 “I know, I'm sorry your fish died.”

 “I'm not even─”

 “I'm sorry. I just─ what was I supposed to do? I couldn't stand seeing Junmyeon live his life. Call me selfish, dumbass, motherfucker, asshole, whatever you want to say but I couldn't stay. Besides, I like it here. I opened up a bakery and those brownies you loved so much are a huge hit. I'm catering a birthday party in a week and all they ordered were brownies.” Yifan smiles, walking back inside his apartment and closing the door.

 “Is it okay if I ask where you live?”

 “Next time you get drunk you'll spill out where I am and every single one of you will hunt me down. I'll pass.”

 “True,” Chanyeol sighs, “we miss you, you know. Junmyeon─”

 “ **_Chanyeol_ ** .”

 “He looked so broken, Yifan. Minho tried his best to cheer him up and even hired someone to track you down but it was no use considering you're not here and Junmyeon avoids anything that has to do with you.”

 “I can't say I'm sorry.”

 “Yeah, yeah I know.”

 “I'll be there for Yixing's wedding, if that means anything to you.”

 “You?! You will?!” Chanyeol shrieks.

 “Can't miss my baby brother's wedding. Those two are sickenly sweet and Baekhyun will probably get himself involved in the mafia so he can track me down and drag me back.” They both laugh.

 “I won't tell anyone. It's nice to hear you again, man. I don't even go to the court anymore because I get sad.”

 “You're too sentimental. I'll be back, maybe I'll stay the month of the wedding? I've got to figure out who can tend to my shop here.” Yifan smiles and heads to his bedroom. “I've got to go down to my shop in a little bit, we can talk later if you'd like.”

 “I'm going to spam you pictures of my new dog. His name is Toben and he totally beats Vivi in the cuteness area.” Chanyeol squeals. “I almost named him Nick but Baekhyun tackled me to the ground and told me to take my ‘furry’ shit away from Toben.”

 “Nick as in the fox from Zootopia?” Yifan bites his tongue to hold back a groan.

 “Yes!! You saw it, right?! I love that movie more than I love myself.”

 “As much as I don't mind you talking about animals, I have to draw a line this time.” Yifan shivers as he attempts to tie his hair back. “I gotta go now.”

 “You better message me!”

 “Yes yes, I got it Mom.” Yifan chuckles and ends the call. He sighs and looks in the mirror, rubbing the stubble on his jaw. He looks to the upper right corner mirror, smiling softly at a picture of Junmyeon's last night as a ‘free man’.

 

_ See you soon, Myeon. _


End file.
